The Cinema:
A Brief History of World Cinema
58 min. / B&W & Color / 1.66:1 / Stereo
Shoreline Blu-ray $15.99
Available from Movie Zyng
My response to the above quote: “Huh?”
The Cinema: A Brief History of World Cinema (love the title, although I think with a little effort they could’ve weaseled in the word “Cinema” a couple of more times) is a brief film with 58 minutes of voiceover that appears to be translated from some language that has never been translated before, and possibly never spoken before. For the life of me, I cannot figure out what in the filmmaker is trying to relate, and I suspect that the entire show was written and narrated by AI (despite its 2013 production date in the credits, it talks about movies post-pandemic) or possibly Ed Wood is still alive and making documentaries. Ready? Let’s go – and I will try to be kind.
The Cinema: A Brief History of World Cinema is a brief history of cinema, described on the IMDB as a joint India/U.S. production but seemingly the work of one person, a film lover named Wins Deus.
Okay, done being kind. Random stills and oddball truncated clips are shown behind giant talking heads, most of which appear to be artificially generated and who do not pronounce words correctly, nor do they seem to have any idea of what they’re talking about beyond a few minutes' research wading in Google. Just a couple of examples: mention of the 1910 film In Old California, the first film shot in Hollywood, is illustrated with the poster from In Old California, 1942, starring John Wayne. Further talk of Hollywood westerns theatrical films gives us clips from the TV series Rawhide, Bonanza, and The Big Valley. But it’s the voiceover narration that suggests some sort of madness; anyone watching this film after getting a flu shot will be sure that somehow the vaccine was responsible for warping reality and causing neural misfires.
Random Voiceover Narration
“Filmmakers consider the future, and they inadvertently become the sages of our past and present.”
“Each and every cinema is a history of our human expression on this planet and the reaction to nature on this planet.”
“Imagination is a gift, life is a blessing, tragedy is mystic, love is immortal.”
“Since joy is transcendental, it will be interpreted in many forms, past and future … the true gift of a filmmaker is to balance all of these throughout their film.”
Imagine a full 58 min. of this, and you get the drift. But just in case you need help absorbing the words, it’s all there to see with burned-in subtitles.
Watch this as a fascinating artifact of someone with apparently a passion for cinema but no talent for sharing it, but for heaven’s sake, never show it to your students as a brief history of cinema.
They’d never watch a movie again.
