Day Four: Directed by Wallace Fox, released on May 8, 1942. Apparently, all of the good Hollywood writers were in the Army or on assignment for other studios. So were all the so-so Hollywood writers. So were all the rotten Hollywood writers. Apparently, in the early days of 1942, EVERY writer was busy. So producer Sam Katzman sighed and said, “Well, get me Harvey Gates. The guy can’t write a shopping list and make it coherent, but at least he’s cheap.” Anyway, that’s what we surmise after viewing tonight’s Monogram offering.

New brides are dropping dead at the altar (talk about anti-climactic for the nervous grooms) and their corpses are being stolen. Turns out they’re secretly being poisoned by rare corsages presented by Dr. Bela Lugosi, who steals their bodies and uses a gland secretion to turn his 80-something-year-old wife into a young, beautiful babe. Wisecracking reporter (were there any other kind in 1940s movies?) Luana Walters and her boyfriend Tris Coffin (Ewww!) are on the case, though. In Lugosi’s corner is Minerva Urecal and her twin sons, one of whom is a ferocious mindless necrophiliac and the other of whom is a dwarf, although that aside he’s relatively normal. Speaking of normal, Lugosi and his bride sleep in coffins. Separate coffins, naturally: the Hays Office doesn't mind necrophilia, so long as it's in separate beds.

Favorite dialog, cheerful, smiling reporter after the young bride keels over: “It’s SENSATIONAL! Another kidnapping of a dead bride! What a story!”

Same reporter, later advising her boyfriend how her evening went: “I’ve been up all night with DEAD people!”

Fave dialog from Lugosi: “In our dreams, our minds play strange TRICKS on us sometimes.”

In the end, everybody is either dead or just kind of wanders off-set; this may well be the least coherent film in the history of movies. I dunno, maybe it just needed George Zucco.

Return to the HOME PAGE for links to The Invisible Ghost, Bowery at Midnight, The Ape Man, and Return of the Ape Man, all films reviewed earlier as part of BelaBration 2008.

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