Brute 1

This week's cartoon is brought to us by the Bordon Milk Company. Hey with the cheapo admission and snack bar prices we charge, we have to pay the rent somehow, don't we? At least we don't show 15 minutes' worth of car and Coca-Cola commercials, right?
Our passion play begins with a group of jolly identical elves waking up and heading off to work.
The li'l guys are sun worshippers, and no doubt the Balcony is going to be picketed by some religious group or other if word gets 'round.
In their cute li'l scientific laboratory, the elves have the latest Kenneth Strickfaddenish equipment for -- capturing sunshine! Heavens! Are they going to use their machine for goodness or badness?
Well, so far it appears that they're going to capture all the sunlight and hold it ransom, forcing the League of Nations to pay ONE MILLION DOLLARS for its return.
But NO! They're actually FRIENDLY li'l elves, and they SHARE their bottled sunshine with the rest of the village. In fact, they deliver in wee wagons pulled by domesticated grasshoppers. (Watch out, they spit.)
Oh, but look... on the other side of the woods lies a village of dark elves who don't LIKE bottled sunshine! Clearly, this is a race that must be eradicated. Prepare the sunshine cannons!
The happy sunny elves blast their enemies with bottles of sunshine, and the dark elves are immediately transformed into happy, gay pixies who prance and sing "la la la" songs in falsetto. Yes, really.
Vowing to spread sunshine to countries that don't have it, the sunny elves climb aboard dragonflies and drop sunbombs on the hapless dark elves, who are helpless against the onslaught.
Although the dark elves at first wail and gnash their dark li'l teeth, they soon realize that resistance is futile. If they hope to survive in today's modern sunny world, they will have to capitulate and learn all the "la la la" songs. Soon, they have been fully integrated into the sunshine society, and there is much joyous dancing in the streets.
You'll find cartons of Borden's milk on sale at our concession stand. Please don't bother checking the label; expiration dates are a guideline, not a law. And NO, it doesn't taste funny to me. The Sunshine Makers (1935) is available on the "Cartoons That Time Forgot: From the Van Beuren Studio" DVD from Image Entertainment.

This week we've got a delightful and timely comedy short starring the great humorist Robert Benchley. How to Vote was released in 1937, and by that we mean 1936.
It seems that Mr. Murney, a candidate in the 8th election district, is ill and cannot attend tonight's political meeting. His assistant, Mr. Benchley, will substitute for him.
"I'm sorry to be here tonight," the speaker begins. That is, he's sorry Mr. Murney is ill. Still, "I think you're going to elect him. That is, I hope you will. That is, actually, sometimes I wonder." To break the ice, he warms up the crowd by telling "a story I'm sure you've all heard." Midway through the joke, though, he stops and consults his figures. It seems that in the district, "administrative costs have risen to between $18,000." He has no idea what that means, but he's sure it will help make things less clear.
He then begins a convoluted explanation of exported commodities, either 30 million or 30 thousand, and either 1911 or 1914. There are 40,000 white, 10,000 approximate white, and 30,000 the same as those in group A, or in other words, white.
"These may or may not be the right set of figures."
"The fourth point I wanted to make, or the third point unless you counted the first point as two...."
Mr. Benchley then launches into an explanation of the proposed Grousewater Dam, which both Mr. Murney and he strongly oppose. In fact, there are two dams, a fake one and a read dam that will be hidden in the bushes.
"The Men's Locker-Room is projected to cost $14,000 but we figure $1,750,000."
"This just says 25 miles. It doesn't say from what, but it must be all right, because it says $6,000."
The total proposed cost of the dam isn't calculated, but it must be a tidy sum.
"Except for $17.50 cab fare, which comes out of petty cash."
"Here's where we camped out for the night. We found a small river, but it had no beginning or end, so we ignored it."
Actually, the dam sounds like it might be a pretty good idea, except that it will turn into the state highway, so there's no reason for a dam at all.
"And here's the captive balloon I told you about earlier."
Benchley then launches into a vigorous defense of America and all it stands for, but doesn't get very far before he leaves. Without his shoes.
How To Vote is currently available on DVD. That is, it's not currently available on DVD.

And now it's time for the ninth nail-biting episode of The Hurricane Express, which stars John Wayne, thank heavens. Last week, the Duke was shot as he tried to escape in his flivver, but he was just a-foolin' to throw off the thugs, and he starts the car and speeds away in a display of the better part of valor.
The railroad dicks have nabbed Stratton, though, and they find out that Shirley is his daughter. They give her a message from Mr. Edwards: she's fired, and without the customary 2 weeks notice, too! John heads to the local RR depot to put the gold into a safe, but it turns out the boxes are filled with iron bars: somebody else still has the gold, and don't ask me.
John hides when the thugs show up and grab what they think is the gold; one of 'em calls the Wrecker, who gives them a place and time to meet with him. Unbeknownst to them, however, John has tapped the line and now knows where he can find the man who killed his father.
John ties up the bad guys and goes off to meet the Wrecker face to face.
At long last we get a glimpse of the Wrecker, but he's disguised as a telephone, so we can't tell who it is. He's skinny, though, whoever that is.
Meanwhile, somebody's tried to kill Mr. Edwards, but nobody makes a big deal out of it, for some reason.
Edwards is advised that Stratton clubbed the RR dicks and is on the loose again. Edwards and his posse go in search of the Wrecker; Wayne has clued them in on where the meeting is to take place.
John tries to sneak up on the Wrecker, but the Wrecker's men had escaped and called him and he was ready. A fight ensues, a gun goes off, and the Wrecker lies dead. John Wayne runs off, triumphant. But wait! That wasn't the Duke running off at all...
...it was the Wrecker in a John Wayne mask, and the REAL John Wayne lies very, very still.
Is this the end of our hero?
Next week: "The Wrecker's Secret!" or "Strong Enough for a Man, but Made for a Wrecker!"

Well, alrighty then! Why don't we all take a few minutes, go to the concession stand and purchase some popcorn, a couple of those big pickles, a Sugar Daddy, some Tootsie Roll Squares, and a carton of Borden's milk, and then meet back here for the feature presentation! And remember two things boys and girls, or one thing if you count it twice: (1) You can request future Matinee shorts and features by clicking CONTACT US above or on our MESSAGE BDS, and (2) To start the feature attraction, click HERE!

	This week's cartoon is brought to us by the Bordon Milk Company. Hey with the cheapo admission and snack bar prices we charge, we have to pay the rent somehow, don't we? At least we don't show 15 minutes' worth of car and Coca-Cola commercials, right? Our passion play begins with a group of jolly identical elves waking up and heading off to work.
The li'l guys are sun worshippers, and no doubt the Balcony is going to be picketed by some religious group or other if word gets 'round.
	In their cute li'l scientific laboratory, the elves have the latest Kenneth Strickfaddenish equipment for -- capturing sunshine! Heavens! Are they going to use their machine for goodness or badness?
Well, so far it appears that they're going to capture all the sunlight and hold it ransom, forcing the League of Nations to pay ONE MILLION DOLLARS for its return.
	But NO! They're actually FRIENDLY li'l elves, and they SHARE their bottled sunshine with the rest of the village. In fact, they deliver in wee wagons pulled by domesticated grasshoppers. (Watch out, they spit.)
Oh, but look... on the other side of the woods lies a village of dark elves who don't LIKE bottled sunshine!		Clearly, this is a race that must be eradicated. Prepare the sunshine cannons!
	The happy sunny elves blast their enemies with bottles of sunshine, and the dark elves are immediately transformed into happy, gay pixies who prance and sing "la la la" songs in falsetto. Yes, really.
Vowing to spread sunshine to countries that don't have it, the sunny elves climb aboard dragonflies and drop sunbombs on the hapless dark elves, who are helpless against the onslaught.
	Although the dark elves at first wail and gnash their dark li'l teeth, they soon realize that resistance is futile. If they hope to survive in today's modern sunny world, they will have to capitulate and learn all the "la la la" songs. Soon, they have been fully integrated into the sunshine society, and there is much joyous dancing in the streets.
You'll find cartons of Borden's milk on sale at our concession stand. Please don't bother checking the label; expiration dates are a guideline, not a law. And NO, it doesn't taste funny to me.		The Sunshine Makers (1935) is available on the "Cartoons That Time Forgot: From the Van Beuren Studio" DVD from Image Entertainment.

	This week we've got a delightful and timely comedy short starring the great humorist Robert Benchley. How to Vote was released in 1937, and by that we mean 1936. It seems that Mr. Murney, a candidate in the 8th election district, is ill and cannot attend tonight's political meeting. His assistant, Mr. Benchley, will substitute for him.
"I'm sorry to be here tonight," the speaker begins. That is, he's sorry Mr. Murney is ill. Still, "I think you're going to elect him. That is, I hope you will. That is, actually, sometimes I wonder."		To break the ice, he warms up the crowd by telling "a story I'm sure you've all heard." Midway through the joke, though, he stops and consults his figures. It seems that in the district, "administrative costs have risen to between $18,000." He has no idea what that means, but he's sure it will help make things less clear.
	He then begins a convoluted explanation of exported commodities, either 30 million or 30 thousand, and either 1911 or 1914. There are 40,000 white, 10,000 approximate white, and 30,000 the same as those in group A, or in other words, white.
"These may or may not be the right set of figures."		"The fourth point I wanted to make, or the third point unless you counted the first point as two...."
	Mr. Benchley then launches into an explanation of the proposed Grousewater Dam, which both Mr. Murney and he strongly oppose. In fact, there are two dams, a fake one and a read dam that will be hidden in the bushes.
"The Men's Locker-Room is projected to cost $14,000 but we figure $1,750,000." "This just says 25 miles. It doesn't say from what, but it must be all right, because it says $6,000."		The total proposed cost of the dam isn't calculated, but it must be a tidy sum. "Except for $17.50 cab fare, which comes out of petty cash."
	"Here's where we camped out for the night. We found a small river, but it had no beginning or end, so we ignored it." Actually, the dam sounds like it might be a pretty good idea, except that it will turn into the state highway, so there's no reason for a dam at all.
"And here's the captive balloon I told you about earlier." Benchley then launches into a vigorous defense of America and all it stands for, but doesn't get very far before he leaves. Without his shoes.		How To Vote is currently available on DVD. That is, it's not currently available on DVD.

	And now it's time for the ninth nail-biting episode of *The Hurricane Express*, which stars John Wayne, thank heavens. Last week, the Duke was shot as he tried to escape in his flivver, but he was just a-foolin' to throw off the thugs, and he starts the car and speeds away in a display of the better part of valor.
The railroad dicks have nabbed Stratton, though, and they find out that Shirley is his daughter. They give her a message from Mr. Edwards: she's fired, and without the customary 2 weeks notice, too!		John heads to the local RR depot to put the gold into a safe, but it turns out the boxes are filled with iron bars: somebody else still has the gold, and don't ask me.
	John hides when the thugs show up and grab what they think is the gold; one of 'em calls the Wrecker, who gives them a place and time to meet with him. Unbeknownst to them, however, John has tapped the line and now knows where he can find the man who killed his father.
John ties up the bad guys and goes off to meet the Wrecker face to face.
	At long last we get a glimpse of the Wrecker, but he's disguised as a telephone, so we can't tell who it is. He's skinny, though, whoever that is. Meanwhile, somebody's tried to kill Mr. Edwards, but nobody makes a big deal out of it, for some reason.
Edwards is advised that Stratton clubbed the RR dicks and is on the loose again. Edwards and his posse go in search of the Wrecker; Wayne has clued them in on where the meeting is to take place.
	John tries to sneak up on the Wrecker, but the Wrecker's men had escaped and called him and he was ready. A fight ensues, a gun goes off, and the Wrecker lies dead. John Wayne runs off, triumphant. But wait! That wasn't the Duke running off at all...
...it was the Wrecker in a John Wayne mask, and the REAL John Wayne lies very, very still. Is this the end of our hero?		Next week: "The Wrecker's Secret!" or "Strong Enough for a Man, but Made for a Wrecker!"