Cargo 1

Welcome back folks! Find a seat; you're just in time for this week's animated antics starring the world's most popular friendly ghost! Now, the Famous Studios series starring Casper, which debuted in the 1940s, isn't held in high regard by cartoon fans. Except for us. We like 'em. And tonight's cartoon is a special treat.
Welcome to the world famous Chinese Theatre, where they're premiering the new Casper cartoon. The star himself will be making a ghost appearance!
Hundreds of star-struck fans await the arrival of their favorite film star, and here he comes. Why, the doorman doesn't even have to open the limo door for him! Let's see I. Stanford Jolley or Guy Kibbee manage THIS stunt at THEIR gala film premieres!
Casper tells his fans how he came to be a cartoon star. It seems that one day, he was looking for a friend when he happened to pass by the Paramount Cartoon Studios. Like all ghosts his age, Casper loves cartoons, and he thought he'd take a look to see how they're made.
Sadly, the writing staff -- who were stuck on an idea for a new cartoon series -- was terrified at the sight of him. Casper had a similar experience in the Color Department. So he tried the Animation Department next.
Here, courtesy of a flip book, he found out how Baby Huey was animated.
Unfortunately, the animators were just as frightened as everybody else had been, and showed it by doing Tex Avery double-takes.
Luckily, though, the cartoon characters themselves weren't a-scared of Casper. They wanted to play with him!
When the Paramount cartoon staff saw that Casper was really a FRIENDLY ghost, they realized that they had found their newest and bestest Cartoon star.
After relating this tale, Casper is immortalized at the Theatre. He has to borrow a shoe to do it.
Ghost of Honor is available on the Casper: Peek a Boo DVD from Sony Wonder.
July 29, 2006 marks the 100th anniversary of the birth of the great THELMA TODD, and we're celebrating here In The Balcony with a showing of her rare 1935 2-reeler The Tin Man, with Patsy Kelly.
As our story opens, Thelma and Patsy are lost in the dark in a storm on a deserted country road, and the radio reports that an escaped psychopath is on the loose in the area. He wouldn't be hiding in their back seat, would he?
Actually, he IS hiding back there, but Patsy hits a bump and he bangs his head and fall unconscious. The girls find a creepy old mansion, but it DOES have lights on. It also has doors and windows that open and close with no human hand touching them.
The house is fully automated and run by insane genius Clarence Wilson, who hates all women and cackles with glee at the chance to eradicate a couple of them.
The girls try to escape through a window, but every shutter they open has a smaller one on the other side. Finally, they reach what they think is an exit -- but this ghoulish looking fella is waiting for them.
Dr. Wilson's greatest invention is his fearsome mechanical man; at left, you see the impressive remote control that runs the thing. At right, you see the Tin Man giving Miss Kelly an electrical handshake.
The robot orders Thelma and Patsy to have dinner with him, and serves them a cocktail of motor oil. The rest of the dinner goes no better (the killer hiding under the table gets the worst of it, though). When the Tin Man dumps a pitcher of water over Miss Kelly, she gets mad and reciprocates. This short-circuits the robot, who goes berserk.
The Tin Man attacks his creator. How Frankensteinian.
Patsy and Thelma manage to escape; the killer follows them, but he just wants a ride back to his "nice, safe" insane asylum.
The Tin Man is currently not available on DVD. It's too bad. Please remember: don't buy Hallmark cards.
Oooh, and now it's time for the latest thrill-a-second episode of our serial, The Hurricane Express starring John Wayne. As we recall, last time John had been clobbered and a 3-ton chassis was descending right on top of him. Wayne's career wouldn't be in such dire straits again until he signed to do The Conqueror.
Luckily, John's fiance followed him into the hanger and sees what's going on. Trying to keep on schedule for their upcoming nuptuals, she calls some railroad dicks to rescue the Duke.
Okay, the guy you see here is the latest victim of the "I've-got-you-now-and-I-know-you're-the-Wrecker" game. He's the head of the RR's rival aeroplane company. He denies everything.
The RR guys try to take him in, but John Wayne is disguised as their chauffer, and he has his own ideas about catching the Wrecker. How John Wayne can disguise himself as ANYBODY else is beside the point.
The aeroplane guy is questioned; under duress, he admits he knows more than he's said because he's afraid of the Wrecker. The RR chief tells him, "I will give you my personal guarantee that you'll be safe." So he agrees to confess. Naturally, before he can say another word, he's the recipient of a fatal bullet from a gunman at the window. It appears to be Wayne's future father-in-law.
Ruth talks to her dad on the phone; he denies everything, even saying that he's only got Ruth's mother's word for it that he even IS her father (okay, okay, we made that part up). Anyway, he says he's going down to the mine and fetch the gold he's hidden there. She agrees to meet him.
Whoops! It appears that Ruth's line was tapped, and the Wrecker is on to her and her father. On the way to the mine, she's attacked by a roadster full of ne'er-do-wells. Her car is sent over the side of a cliff! AIIIEEE! To be continued!
Oh, boy! Next week Mugs, Sunshine Sammy, Glimpy, and all the rest of the East Side Kids come to the Balcony! Join us for the patriotic 1941 classic Bowery Blitzkrieg with Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall, Warren Hull, Dennis Moore, and Jack Mulhall! Wow!

This week's feature film was originally released in 1936 as Yellow Cargo, but it was retitled for reissue. Grapevine Video offers a beautiful (but slightly cut) print of this film on DVD-R paired with an equally obscure oldie called Captain Calamity. You don't find double-features like that very often, folks.
Conrad's a G-Man working in the Narcotics division when he's called on to report to Immigration & Naturalization Services for a special assignment. It seems that somebody's been smuggling Chinese workers into Southern California, and the government wants to put a stop to it. Conrad is going to go undercover as a would-be actor and see if he can round up some unusual suspects.
Here's a pair of hearse drivers with a truckload of stiffs. Sorry, "deceased persons." When the "dead" folks sit up and start speaking Cantonese, that CHPs officer ends up with a cracked skull.
Eleanor Hunt and Vince Barnett are, respectively, a snappy girl reporter covering the Hollywood beat and her buffoonish sidekick photographer. They're at Globe Productions, a new studio that seems to be shunning publicity, a "man bites dog" story in attention-hungry Tinseltown. Studio head Jack LaRue seems less interested in movies than he is in the moves he's putting on his receptionist.
Eleanor feels that "where there's a mystery, there's always a story." She tells her photog pal that Globe must be working on "third dimension, a new color process, or another Garbo." Conrad learns from the CHPs officer that one of the smugglers in human flesh had an odd habit of nervously folding a piece of paper over and over. When he learns from Eleanor, whom he'd met at the airport on his way into town, that there's a new movie executive in town that's shunning publicity, he "accidentally" starts a fire in his office to get him to come out.
Sure enough, LaRue is a paper-folder. Not only that, it seems like he's never submitted any movie scripts to the government censor's office. The guy's obviously bad news.
Conrad sneakily gets LaRue's fingerprints on a cigarette case, and discovers that he's really Al Perrelli, gangster, smuggler, and wedgie-grabber. Hey, Conrad, you might want to rethink your tastes in bathrobes, there, bud.
The next morning, our heroes head down to the waterfront so Eleanor can get some shots of an arriving Chinese dignitary. Gasoline was 14¢ a gallon. Eat your heart out.
Vince the shutterbug gets a shot of the Chinese General, but Mr. Perrelli is there meeting some pals, too, and Conrad surreptitiously snaps a shot of them together... ...giving Vince this double exposure. A lousy snapshot, but a heckuva clue.
Perrelli is taking a load of extras out to a small island 18 miles off the coast for filming; "It's a sea story with Chinese pirates" he explains to the harbor police. But once there, he dismisses them all for the day ("script problems") and sends them home on another launch. Then, that night, he returns to the mainland with a few dozen smuggled illegal immigrants. What a racket.
The next day's group of extras, though, includes Vince (on far left) and Conrad (far right).
At left, we sneak a peek at the "script" the director is using. (Anybody want to try those muffins and let us know how they worked out?) The director has everybody chase Vince into the ocean, and then dismisses them again.
Conrad stays hidden behind and finds out what's really going on. For his trouble, he gets badly beaten and barely escapes with his life. Awakening in the hospital, he's anxious to dash back into action, but he's lacking any clothes. "What good's a man without PANTS?" he asks pointedly.
The snoopy sob sister and her doltish pal try to sneak up on Perrelli and his mob, but for their troubles they get tossed in the back of a roadster for a one-way ride to Deathsville. Luckily, Conrad -- who has dug up a pair of pants someplace -- is on their trail.
Eleanor tosses her shoe out the window to signal where they're going. And my, what shapely ankles she has. Conrad and his G-Men give chase, but all seems lost until Vince works the gag off his mouth, picks up one of Eleanor's hatpins in his teeth, and stabs the car's driver in the neck, causing the auto to crash.
Perrelli is still full of fight, though, and just LOOK at the size of that tommygun.
Nevertheless, Conrad's fists are plenty darn big, too, and with one sock the villain is retired for the night. And the picture.
Conrad removes Eleanor's gag, and she is quite pleased to be able to use her mouth again, as she willingly demonstrates. "Loosen my hands so I can show you what THOSE are for!" she giggles. Ewww.
And that's our show! Drive safely!

	Welcome back folks! Find a seat; you're just in time for this week's animated antics starring the world's most popular friendly ghost! Now, the Famous Studios series starring Casper, which debuted in the 1940s, isn't held in high regard by cartoon fans. Except for us. We like 'em. And tonight's cartoon is a special treat.
Welcome to the world famous Chinese Theatre, where they're premiering the new Casper cartoon. The star himself will be making a ghost appearance!
	Hundreds of star-struck fans await the arrival of their favorite film star, and here he comes. Why, the doorman doesn't even have to open the limo door for him! Let's see I. Stanford Jolley or Guy Kibbee manage THIS stunt at THEIR gala film premieres!
Casper tells his fans how he came to be a cartoon star. It seems that one day, he was looking for a friend when he happened to pass by the Paramount Cartoon Studios. Like all ghosts his age, Casper loves cartoons, and he thought he'd take a look to see how they're made.
	Sadly, the writing staff -- who were stuck on an idea for a new cartoon series -- was terrified at the sight of him. Casper had a similar experience in the Color Department. So he tried the Animation Department next.
Here, courtesy of a flip book, he found out how Baby Huey was animated.
	Unfortunately, the animators were just as frightened as everybody else had been, and showed it by doing Tex Avery double-takes. Luckily, though, the cartoon characters themselves weren't a-scared of Casper. They wanted to play with him!
When the Paramount cartoon staff saw that Casper was really a FRIENDLY ghost, they realized that they had found their newest and bestest Cartoon star. After relating this tale, Casper is immortalized at the Theatre. He has to borrow a shoe to do it. Ghost of Honor is available on the Casper: Peek a Boo DVD from Sony Wonder.
	July 29, 2006 marks the 100th anniversary of the birth of the great THELMA TODD, and we're celebrating here In The Balcony with a showing of her rare 1935 2-reeler The Tin Man, with Patsy Kelly.
As our story opens, Thelma and Patsy are lost in the dark in a storm on a deserted country road, and the radio reports that an escaped psychopath is on the loose in the area. He wouldn't be hiding in their back seat, would he?
Actually, he IS hiding back there, but Patsy hits a bump and he bangs his head and fall unconscious. The girls find a creepy old mansion, but it DOES have lights on. It also has doors and windows that open and close with no human hand touching them.
	The house is fully automated and run by insane genius Clarence Wilson, who hates all women and cackles with glee at the chance to eradicate a couple of them.
The girls try to escape through a window, but every shutter they open has a smaller one on the other side. Finally, they reach what they think is an exit -- but this ghoulish looking fella is waiting for them.
	Dr. Wilson's greatest invention is his fearsome mechanical man; at left, you see the impressive remote control that runs the thing. At right, you see the Tin Man giving Miss Kelly an electrical handshake.
The robot orders Thelma and Patsy to have dinner with him, and serves them a cocktail of motor oil. The rest of the dinner goes no better (the killer hiding under the table gets the worst of it, though).		When the Tin Man dumps a pitcher of water over Miss Kelly, she gets mad and reciprocates. This short-circuits the robot, who goes berserk.
	The Tin Man attacks his creator. How Frankensteinian.
	Patsy and Thelma manage to escape; the killer follows them, but he just wants a ride back to his "nice, safe" insane asylum. The Tin Man is currently not available on DVD. It's too bad. Please remember: don't buy Hallmark cards.
Oooh, and now it's time for the latest thrill-a-second episode of our serial, The Hurricane Express starring John Wayne.		As we recall, last time John had been clobbered and a 3-ton chassis was descending right on top of him. Wayne's career wouldn't be in such dire straits again until he signed to do The Conqueror.
	Luckily, John's fiance followed him into the hanger and sees what's going on. Trying to keep on schedule for their upcoming nuptuals, she calls some railroad dicks to rescue the Duke.
Okay, the guy you see here is the latest victim of the "I've-got-you-now-and-I-know-you're-the-Wrecker" game. He's the head of the RR's rival aeroplane company. He denies everything.
	The RR guys try to take him in, but John Wayne is disguised as their chauffer, and he has his own ideas about catching the Wrecker. How John Wayne can disguise himself as ANYBODY else is beside the point.
The aeroplane guy is questioned; under duress, he admits he knows more than he's said because he's afraid of the Wrecker. The RR chief tells him, "I will give you my personal guarantee that you'll be safe." So he agrees to confess.		Naturally, before he can say another word, he's the recipient of a fatal bullet from a gunman at the window. It appears to be Wayne's future father-in-law.
	Ruth talks to her dad on the phone; he denies everything, even saying that he's only got Ruth's mother's word for it that he even IS her father (okay, okay, we made that part up). Anyway, he says he's going down to the mine and fetch the gold he's hidden there. She agrees to meet him.
Whoops! It appears that Ruth's line was tapped, and the Wrecker is on to her and her father. On the way to the mine, she's attacked by a roadster full of ne'er-do-wells. Her car is sent over the side of a cliff! AIIIEEE! To be continued!
Oh, boy! Next week Mugs, Sunshine Sammy, Glimpy, and all the rest of the East Side Kids come to the Balcony! Join us for the patriotic 1941 classic *Bowery Blitzkrieg* with Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall, Warren Hull, Dennis Moore, and Jack Mulhall! Wow!

	This week's feature film was originally released in 1936 as Yellow Cargo, but it was retitled for reissue. Grapevine Video offers a beautiful (but slightly cut) print of this film on DVD-R paired with an equally obscure oldie called Captain Calamity. You don't find double-features like that very often, folks.
Conrad's a G-Man working in the Narcotics division when he's called on to report to Immigration & Naturalization Services for a special assignment.		It seems that somebody's been smuggling Chinese workers into Southern California, and the government wants to put a stop to it. Conrad is going to go undercover as a would-be actor and see if he can round up some unusual suspects.
	Here's a pair of hearse drivers with a truckload of stiffs. Sorry, "deceased persons." When the "dead" folks sit up and start speaking Cantonese, that CHPs officer ends up with a cracked skull.
	Eleanor Hunt and Vince Barnett are, respectively, a snappy girl reporter covering the Hollywood beat and her buffoonish sidekick photographer. They're at Globe Productions, a new studio that seems to be shunning publicity, a "man bites dog" story in attention-hungry Tinseltown. Studio head Jack LaRue seems less interested in movies than he is in the moves he's putting on his receptionist.
Eleanor feels that "where there's a mystery, there's always a story." She tells her photog pal that Globe must be working on "third dimension, a new color process, or another Garbo."		Conrad learns from the CHPs officer that one of the smugglers in human flesh had an odd habit of nervously folding a piece of paper over and over. When he learns from Eleanor, whom he'd met at the airport on his way into town, that there's a new movie executive in town that's shunning publicity, he "accidentally" starts a fire in his office to get him to come out.
	Sure enough, LaRue is a paper-folder. Not only that, it seems like he's never submitted any movie scripts to the government censor's office. The guy's obviously bad news.
Conrad sneakily gets LaRue's fingerprints on a cigarette case, and discovers that he's really Al Perrelli, gangster, smuggler, and wedgie-grabber.		Hey, Conrad, you might want to rethink your tastes in bathrobes, there, bud.
	The next morning, our heroes head down to the waterfront so Eleanor can get some shots of an arriving Chinese dignitary. Gasoline was 14¢ a gallon. Eat your heart out.
Vince the shutterbug gets a shot of the Chinese General, but Mr. Perrelli is there meeting some pals, too, and Conrad surreptitiously snaps a shot of them together...		...giving Vince this double exposure. A lousy snapshot, but a heckuva clue.
	Perrelli is taking a load of extras out to a small island 18 miles off the coast for filming; "It's a sea story with Chinese pirates" he explains to the harbor police. But once there, he dismisses them all for the day ("script problems") and sends them home on another launch. Then, that night, he returns to the mainland with a few dozen smuggled illegal immigrants. What a racket.
The next day's group of extras, though, includes Vince (on far left) and Conrad (far right).
	At left, we sneak a peek at the "script" the director is using. (Anybody want to try those muffins and let us know how they worked out?) The director has everybody chase Vince into the ocean, and then dismisses them again.
Conrad stays hidden behind and finds out what's really going on. For his trouble, he gets badly beaten and barely escapes with his life.		Awakening in the hospital, he's anxious to dash back into action, but he's lacking any clothes. "What good's a man without PANTS?" he asks pointedly.
	The snoopy sob sister and her doltish pal try to sneak up on Perrelli and his mob, but for their troubles they get tossed in the back of a roadster for a one-way ride to Deathsville. Luckily, Conrad -- who has dug up a pair of pants someplace -- is on their trail.
Eleanor tosses her shoe out the window to signal where they're going. And my, what shapely ankles she has.		Conrad and his G-Men give chase, but all seems lost until Vince works the gag off his mouth, picks up one of Eleanor's hatpins in his teeth, and stabs the car's driver in the neck, causing the auto to crash.
	Perrelli is still full of fight, though, and just LOOK at the size of that tommygun.
Nevertheless, Conrad's fists are plenty darn big, too, and with one sock the villain is retired for the night. And the picture.
	Conrad removes Eleanor's gag, and she is quite pleased to be able to use her mouth again, as she willingly demonstrates. "Loosen my hands so I can show you what THOSE are for!" she giggles. Ewww. And that's our show! Drive safely!