Red Ryder

	Welcome everybody! You're just in time for the cartoon and it's a pip, as Donald Duck stars in Don Donald, directed by Ben Sharpsteen and released in January, 1937.
		As our story opens, Donald is riding around the New Mexico countryside on his ass. That is, his burro. He meets up with the lovely Daisy Duck, here called Donna Duck.
He serenades her for a while and they seem to be getting along swell. The problem is that she's got as bad a temper as he does, and pretty soon...		...they're not getting along so swell. So Donald decides to impress her by trading in his burro for a car. Now, do you think she's that shallow?
	She is, and soon they're traipsing around in the sun. The burro is unhappy in his new home, and decides to follow them.
Good thing, too, because the car turns out to be a death trap. Donna Duck rides home in a unicycle she keeps in her purse.		You'd think the burro would enjoy being reunited with Donald, but no -- he laughs his... um... butt off. A morose ending to a cartoon, but there you are. You'll find Don Donald on the Chronological Donald Vol. 1, part of the Disney Treasures series.

Now it's time for our short subject, and -- yeah! It's a Three Stooges short! Now, it IS a Shemp, not a Curly -- but fret not! Here In The Balcony, we think it's the funniest short the slapstick trio ever made.
Punchy Cowpunchers (1950) was written and directed by Ed Bernds; released at a time when the Stooges alternated between Bernds and Jules White-directed shorts, the Bernds almost always came out ahead.
Here we see the Stooges saluting Captain Emil Sitka, their usual foil in the 1950s films. The film is set in Ft. Scott, Kansas, 1868. Shortly after severely harming Captain Sitka, the Boys are going to accidentally maim Colonel Vernon Dent.
The Stooges are sent into town to clean up the Dillon Gang, the roughest, toughest group of killers in the west. Our Heroes decide to masquerade as a trio of vicious desperadoes.
"But I don't FEEL very desperado!" Shemp exclaims. Still, at the bar, he orders a milkshake -- and to show how tough he is, he orders it made "from sour milk!" Moe shows how tough HE is by opening a bottle of soda on Shemp's teeth.
Jock O'Mahoney is the town's All-American Good Guy, but he tends to fall down a lot, hide behind Christine McIntyre, and forget to put bullets in his gun. Favorite line: "I fell off my horse!"
The town is run by slick shyster Kenneth MacDonald, who went back and forth between playing REAL killers in Columbia serials and COMIC killers in Stooges shorts. The Stooges had tried to don disguises, but Moe's moustache ended up on MacDonald's nose.
This serial has a lot of familiar western/serial faces, including Dick Wessel, George Chesebro, Ted Mapes, and -- shown here cracking the safe -- good ol' Stanley Price.
Most of the fisticuffs in the short come courtesy of Miss McIntyre, who beats up the villains sent to subdue her, then faints gracefully on the nearby comfy sofa. You'll find Punchy Cowpunchers on the Stooges' Merry Mavericks DVD from Columbia.

And now it's the latest episode of our thrilling cliffhanger, The Hurricane Express, which people watch solely because John Wayne is in it. Except he got blowed up last week.
Oh, no, he did not. It turns out that he and his pals simply jumped out of the way before the dynamite collapsed the mine. The rest of them snuck out the back way, so no harm done. Well, SOME harm was done. Here Wayne tosses Ernie Adams, who if you remember him at all you remember as Blinky in The Black Widow. Why is Wayne throwing him? Because the other thugs, Charles King and Glenn Strange, are too big to lift.
The directors checked their watches, saw they were running short, and directed the cast members to run around the filming locations willy-nilly for several minutes while the cameras cranked.
For about the fourth time in five episodes, Wayne accuses somebody of being the Wrecker. On the off chance he may finally be right, they lock the guy in the cloak room. That'll teach him. Meanwhile, somebody is tied up and captive on a train, and the Wrecker aims to smash that train, but I don't know who or why. It's pretty sad when a movie fan can't fathom the plot of a 20-minute serial chapter, eh?
Wayne hops a motorcycle and takes off to help the mysterious guy, but he's a little too late and has to... catch a train. Sorry, didn't know any other way to say it.
Wayne DOES catch the train, but seconds after he leaps from his bike to the boxcar, the darn train goes over a cliff. Ouch.

Next week a beautiful, sexy woman turns into a snarling, ferocious beast who exists only to exact her brutal vengeance on those who get in her way. And I know, a lot of you guys out there are thinking, "HEY, they're showing a movie about my ex-wife!" But NO... it's a thrilling Universal horror classic starring John Carradine, Milburn Stone, Evelyn Ankers, and Acquanetta! Talk about your all-star casts! Plus selected short subjects!

Our feature attraction was directed by Spencer Bennet and released in 1944. It was the first of a long series of popular feature films based on the Red Ryder comic strip by Fred Harman.
Our story opens in the 1890s, when we're told that "unscrupulous politicians ruled in open defiance of both the law and the will of the people." Luckily, times have changed. *cough cough* A meeting to discuss Arizona statehood is broken up by miscreants sent by the territory's evil governor, but the miscreants are broken up by Red Ryder and his pal, Little Beaver.
Gabby is sure happy to see his old pal Red. Ryder explains that, although he's a peaceable man, he's come on the request of his aunt, the Dutchess, to rid the town of lawlessness. "Wild Bill" Elliot starred in 16 Red Ryder films for Republic, followed by Allan Lane in 7 more. There was also a serial in 1940 with Don Barry (badly miscast) as Red Ryder.
On our left we see the happy family at home, except for that skunk standing. He's Mr. Stark, the town banker, and he's played by LeRoy Mason. A banker, played by LeRoy Mason... obviously, he's a stinker.
Stark's got a spy in the household: cousin Hannah is a mole that keeps him informed of what's going on. When she tells him that the Dutchess has sent for her old friend, Judge Wayne from Washington... Stark orders his men to kill the Judge. Unfortunately, they kill the town's new parson by mistake. Oops. That'll cost 'em a few extra Hail Marys.
Stark frames Red Ryder for the murder, and Hannah tries to use Little Beaver as a dupe to take the jailed Ryder a gun filled with blanks so that the sheriff can shoot him "while escaping."
Little Beaver is nobody's dupe, though, and he switches guns so that Red Ryder has the REAL firearm. Red escapes, and the plot continues.
Stark writes a note in code and orders Hannah to give it to the sheriff, who is at the Dutchess' ranch looking for Red. The sheriff -- the big dope -- doesn't realize that Red Ryder is UNDER the horse's blanket, next to the sick horse. If Red were a snake, he would've bit him.
The sheriff gets the note from Hannah, and realizes there's a code in it. (Note ace stuntman Tom Steele as one of the deputies.) Anyway, Gabby steals the note.
Underlining every third word gives Red Ryder the meaning of what the sheriff's up to. Red switches the payroll on the stage for a box full of dynamite, which is what gets stolen.
Sadly, however, Stark's men have nabbed Little Beaver and are holding him hostage in their hideout, a barn outside of town. The Dutchess beats the crap out of Hannah and makes her tell Red who is behind the evil-doings, and where he can be located.
Red Ryder rescues Little Beaver, and tells Stark and his men not to open that payroll box after they leave, because it's filled with TNT. They don't believe him, and...
Red Ryder, Little Beaver, and Gabby Hayes ride off into the sunset in search of their next adventure. You'll find Tucson Raiders on the Red Ryder Vol. 10 DVD from VCI Entertainment.

Well, pardners, that wraps it up for this week's show. We'll see you next week for a fanciful tale of a boy, a girl, and a gorilla, plus some wonderful short subjects that will make you laugh, make you cry, and most of all... make you think. Or not. Drive safely! Buh-bye!

Now it's time for our short subject, and -- yeah! It's a Three Stooges short! Now, it IS a Shemp, not a Curly -- but fret not! Here In The Balcony, we think it's the funniest short the slapstick trio ever made.
	*Punchy Cowpunchers* (1950) was written and directed by Ed Bernds; released at a time when the Stooges alternated between Bernds and Jules White-directed shorts, the Bernds almost always came out ahead.
Here we see the Stooges saluting Captain Emil Sitka, their usual foil in the 1950s films. The film is set in Ft. Scott, Kansas, 1868. Shortly after severely harming Captain Sitka, the Boys are going to accidentally maim Colonel Vernon Dent.
	The Stooges are sent into town to clean up the Dillon Gang, the roughest, toughest group of killers in the west. Our Heroes decide to masquerade as a trio of vicious desperadoes.
"But I don't FEEL very desperado!" Shemp exclaims. Still, at the bar, he orders a milkshake -- and to show how tough he is, he orders it made "from sour milk!" Moe shows how tough HE is by opening a bottle of soda on Shemp's teeth.
	Jock O'Mahoney is the town's All-American Good Guy, but he tends to fall down a lot, hide behind Christine McIntyre, and forget to put bullets in his gun. Favorite line: "I fell off my horse!"
The town is run by slick shyster Kenneth MacDonald, who went back and forth between playing REAL killers in Columbia serials and COMIC killers in Stooges shorts. The Stooges had tried to don disguises, but Moe's moustache ended up on MacDonald's nose.
	This serial has a lot of familiar western/serial faces, including Dick Wessel, George Chesebro, Ted Mapes, and -- shown here cracking the safe -- good ol' Stanley Price.
Most of the fisticuffs in the short come courtesy of Miss McIntyre, who beats up the villains sent to subdue her, then faints gracefully on the nearby comfy sofa. You'll find Punchy Cowpunchers on the Stooges' Merry Mavericks DVD from Columbia.

	And now it's the latest episode of our thrilling cliffhanger, The Hurricane Express, which people watch solely because John Wayne is in it. Except he got blowed up last week.
Oh, no, he did not. It turns out that he and his pals simply jumped out of the way before the dynamite collapsed the mine. The rest of them snuck out the back way, so no harm done.		Well, SOME harm was done. Here Wayne tosses Ernie Adams, who if you remember him at all you remember as Blinky in The Black Widow. Why is Wayne throwing him? Because the other thugs, Charles King and Glenn Strange, are too big to lift.
	The directors checked their watches, saw they were running short, and directed the cast members to run around the filming locations willy-nilly for several minutes while the cameras cranked.
For about the fourth time in five episodes, Wayne accuses somebody of being the Wrecker. On the off chance he may finally be right, they lock the guy in the cloak room. That'll teach him.		Meanwhile, somebody is tied up and captive on a train, and the Wrecker aims to smash that train, but I don't know who or why. It's pretty sad when a movie fan can't fathom the plot of a 20-minute serial chapter, eh?
	Wayne hops a motorcycle and takes off to help the mysterious guy, but he's a little too late and has to... catch a train. Sorry, didn't know any other way to say it.
	Wayne DOES catch the train, but seconds after he leaps from his bike to the boxcar, the darn train goes over a cliff. Ouch.

	Our feature attraction was directed by Spencer Bennet and released in 1944. It was the first of a long series of popular feature films based on the Red Ryder comic strip by Fred Harman.
Our story opens in the 1890s, when we're told that "unscrupulous politicians ruled in open defiance of both the law and the will of the people." Luckily, times have changed. cough cough		A meeting to discuss Arizona statehood is broken up by miscreants sent by the territory's evil governor, but the miscreants are broken up by Red Ryder and his pal, Little Beaver.
Gabby is sure happy to see his old pal Red. Ryder explains that, although he's a peaceable man, he's come on the request of his aunt, the Dutchess, to rid the town of lawlessness.		"Wild Bill" Elliot starred in 16 Red Ryder films for Republic, followed by Allan Lane in 7 more. There was also a serial in 1940 with Don Barry (badly miscast) as Red Ryder.
	On our left we see the happy family at home, except for that skunk standing. He's Mr. Stark, the town banker, and he's played by LeRoy Mason. A banker, played by LeRoy Mason... obviously, he's a stinker.
Stark's got a spy in the household: cousin Hannah is a mole that keeps him informed of what's going on. When she tells him that the Dutchess has sent for her old friend, Judge Wayne from Washington...		Stark orders his men to kill the Judge. Unfortunately, they kill the town's new parson by mistake. Oops. That'll cost 'em a few extra Hail Marys.
	Stark frames Red Ryder for the murder, and Hannah tries to use Little Beaver as a dupe to take the jailed Ryder a gun filled with blanks so that the sheriff can shoot him "while escaping."
	Little Beaver is nobody's dupe, though, and he switches guns so that Red Ryder has the REAL firearm. Red escapes, and the plot continues.
Stark writes a note in code and orders Hannah to give it to the sheriff, who is at the Dutchess' ranch looking for Red.		The sheriff -- the big dope -- doesn't realize that Red Ryder is UNDER the horse's blanket, next to the sick horse. If Red were a snake, he would've bit him.
	The sheriff gets the note from Hannah, and realizes there's a code in it. (Note ace stuntman Tom Steele as one of the deputies.) Anyway, Gabby steals the note.

	Underlining every third word gives Red Ryder the meaning of what the sheriff's up to. Red switches the payroll on the stage for a box full of dynamite, which is what gets stolen.

Sadly, however, Stark's men have nabbed Little Beaver and are holding him hostage in their hideout, a barn outside of town.		The Dutchess beats the crap out of Hannah and makes her tell Red who is behind the evil-doings, and where he can be located.
	Red Ryder rescues Little Beaver, and tells Stark and his men not to open that payroll box after they leave, because it's filled with TNT. They don't believe him, and...
Red Ryder, Little Beaver, and Gabby Hayes ride off into the sunset in search of their next adventure. You'll find Tucson Raiders on the Red Ryder Vol. 10 DVD from VCI Entertainment.